If your practice is good, you may become proud of it. What you do is good, but something more is added to it. Pride is extra.
-Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind
I started writing about the mind last year, but haven’t published a post in a while because some time ago I uncovered yet another layer of my meditator ego.
My meditator ego is a little sneaky, you see. Yours might be too.
I think we all start (or most of us start) as a humble beginner: “Ugh, I’m so bad at this meditation thing, *googles ‘meditation tips for beginners'”
But eventually we, we grow. We build concentration, have insights, and maybe even have some “cool” experiences.
- At its most bottom layer, maybe we think to ourselves: “Wow, that guy is totally mindless, he needs to meditate.”
- Maybe we think we’re beginning to get good at this thing. Maybe we start to tell others how awesome meditation is.
- Or, maybe it’s just that we think we’ve learned at least a thing or two about the nature of the mind, and think about it with a certain confidence (or, write a blog/forum post).
- Maybe it’s more subtle than that – maybe we now sit with an expectation of what’s supposed to happen, and seek to recreate it. We “know” how things are going to be, and so some part of us sits to get that thing or feeling.